East Coast Memories - Day 4

We got up early and drove to Chester.  I didn't have anything in my journal other than "saw a deer" for this stop.  I think I remember being somewhat disappointed by the supposed character of the city.  If I remember correctly, it was my relatives that suggested this stop.  From Chester we drove to Peggy's Cove - an over-touristed/commercialized pile of rocks with a lighthouse, but picturesque nonetheless.

From here, we drove to Halifax.  Before we found parking as we were driving around the city, we realized that we were just in time for the opening of the gates to a local historical site of the judicial buildings for a Metallica concert.  It was now time to hit the stores!  Emily and Marsha found purses and Marsha found a rather expensive table runner that went into her hope chest.  

How cute is this????

Purses now emptied of look change and then some, we made our way to Uncle Marv and Aunt Laurie's place.   We were treated to a lovely dinner of spaghetti, garlic bread, salad.  Our lemony dessert was concocted by my cousin Trev - very tasty!  He was so proud to present it to us in glass dishes in lots of layers.  This night I finally did poopies.  This was rather momentous as I was feeling VERY uncomfortable.  I figured if Sarah is allowed to talk about it, I can too! :)  We stayed up late talking and even got to relax our muscles in their hot tub, which was particularly good for Marsha as her back was not feeling very good.  We all slept well this night.  Thus ends Day 4! 

East Coast Memories - Day 3

This day was glorious.  We were not welcomed with sweltering heat as our compadres back in the homeland for which I was thankful.  After our late night arrival and set-up we decided to not set our alarms and just enjoy the day.  I slept in until 10 am to the smell of Emily doing some rather fantastic brekkie-making.  We had quite the smorgasbord with omelettes, bacon, orange juice and toast!

While I walked to the head office to register our campsite, Em and Marsha cleaned up the camp and set up the laundry.  This was my favourite of all the national parks that we had visited.  Upon my return, we packed up our beach materials and off we went.  The beach was small, but really lovely.  The water actually had a copper hue to it.  I went swimming for about 45 minutes and then just relaxed in the sand.

That afternoon, we drove to Lunenburg but I forgot my camera, so I'll have to get those from Em (I hope she still has them!).  We saw the Bluenose, but it was under construction so we couldn't actually go on it.  We ate at this lovely restaurant right on the waterfront.  I had bruscetta with scallops, halibut with strawberry salsa, julienned veggies and garlic mashed potatoes.  We missed out on a ceileh that night, but I am still hoping to make it to a live performance one of these days!  We picked up some firewood on the way home, piled on the warm clothes when we got to camp and chatted by the fire until the early hours of the morning.  Thus ends Day 3 - hopefully more pictures pending!

Secrets about Guys [that shouldn't be secret]

Things I've learned ...

Thoughts taken from this book by Grace Dove, "Secret about Guys [that shouldn't be secret]:

Secret 1 - "Guys appreciate modesty."
- If you want a truly godly guy, you must cultivate becoming a truly godly woman.
- 98% of men said that they've been distracted by a girl's or woman's appearance in a church service. How sad is that??

Secret 2 - "Guys have definite ideas about beauty."
- Your outward appearance tells a great deal about your personality - your inner attitudes - how you feel about yourself and how you feel toward others.  Being neat and clean sends a positive message that guys pick up on -  and appreciate!
- Manicured nails are pretty.  - I guess this means I have to work again at not biting my nails ...
- Part of the reason guys like cheerful girls is because men carry the weight of ultimate leadership on their shoulders.  Because of this, guys find encouragement in being around girls who are relaxed and pleasant.
From a Boundless response to a podcast: It's not attractive for her to belittle herself or sink into a shell when I try to reach out. It's irritating to the extreme if I complement a woman on her appearance and she instantly dismisses it or comes up with reasons she looks awful. Not only is the self-degradation unattractive, but she basically said my taste in what is physically attractive stinks. Ouch.

Secret 3 - "Guys love a little mystery"
- I'd like to challenge you to try wearing a casual dress or skirt for any occasion where you might normally wear jeans.  OK.  Challenge extended.  Challenge accepted.  Stay tuned for results.
- Giving hugs away too easily decreases the value of a woman.  Hmm ... I DO like to give hugs.  Maybe now I'll cut back a bit.
- Don't initiate conversations all the time.
- If you step in at the wrong time, intending to help a guy out, you may be interfering with his inner battle, taking away his opportunity for victory.  You know what that does?  It forces him either to surrender leadership to you or to look elsewhere until he can master his fear!

Secret 4 - "Guys are not all alike"
- Outlined different types of guys - creative, studious, player, cool dude
- Outlined different stages of guys - friends, cooties, bachelors forever, crushes, Peter Pan, embarrassed, curious, struggles, attracted, entertainment, friends, pursuit

Secret 5 - "Guys Vs. Girls"
- Guys don't like competitive guys vs. girls contests.  They feel like it's automatically a lose-lose situation.  On one hand when guys win a contest, they're put in a male chauvinist category.  If they lose, they're humiliated and their male egos are bruised. I did not realize this at all.  Good to know as a teaching strategy as well.
- Merely trying to tell girls they don't want to be part of this rivalry puts guys at a disadvantage.  If they attempt to decline a challenge, they get razzed for being sissies.  If they try explaining that they don't like the idea of overpowering girls and they don't want to accidentally injure them, they're blasted for being sexist.

Secret 6 - "Guys are allergic to silliness"
- Acting silly will get their attention, but it sure does not get their admiration.
- What translates to silliness to guys now?  It usually occurs when girls are in groups glancing at guys, whispering, giggling, laughing loudly, squealing, shrieking, stumbling around, etc.
- Even if it doesn't feel natural at first, any young lady can learn manners and social graces.  Do I need to learn social graces?  I suppose I'm not the most graceful person on the planet ... 
- Things that scare guys: girls' purses, her room, meeting a girl's dad, girls whispering, girls-only conversations, girls' tears, girls' hearts Funny stories about a couple of the items on this list.  If only I had known ... :)

Secret 7 - "Guys' lives don't revolve around girls"
Duh.


Secret 8 - "Guys need breathing room"
- It gives him the space he needs to develop a strong, healthy personality.
- Be at peace with yourself.  When you're not dependent on guys for your fulfilment, you're actually succeeding in maintaining some of that mystery that's so alluring to males.  I like that last sentence.

Secret 9 - "Guys are vulnerable"
- The truth is that men (and women) are made after God's image.  Since that's the case, and God expresses all kinds of emotions, it should be a reasonable assumption that guys would express all kinds of emotions too.
- For guys, experiencing rejection is a more complicated maze.  Most guys don't react the way girls do. To do so would invite even more rejection from a wider scope of people.  So guys are stuck dealing with their anguish by themselves.  The isolation can intensify the pain and make it take longer to heal.  As a result, guys are generally more careful and much more reluctant to make serious commitments in a relationship.
- Every time a guy makes overtures toward you, he is temporarily giving you the power to wound him.
Ideas to help support guys who are struggling: ask what hospital a relative is in so I can send a card/visit, redirect his thoughts to something that is positive, ask role models to come in support at an event if his parents/close friends can't make it.  I'm going to look ways to encourage the men that already exist in my life.  These include: my dad, my brother, my pastor, my two brothers-in-law, AOYA friends, faculty members, any others that you can think of?

Secret 10 - "Guys want to be heroes"
-  For most of us, the princess-hero plan has been muddled by our culture.  Many young ladies don't realize they are potential "princesses."  They have never learned to appreciate their femininity.  In fact, they've been taught just the opposite, to strive to be like guys.
- Being a princess means that you have direct access to the king, that you have more responsibility, and that there's a "prince" searching for you.
- Posture is important to guys.  Be regal.  I can work on this.
- Look directly at the person speaking and give him my full focus.
- Exercise control over my emotions and make wise choices based on what is right rather than how I feel
- Other qualities of a princess: selflessness, humility, kindness, trust and faithfulness, occupied, respect and admiration, strength, intelligence
- When you know who you are (a princess with all your strengths and weaknesses), when you know your worth in God and your purpose, you won't need to be - or dare to be - proud.
- A girl occupied with life tantalizes a guy's curiosity.
- To protect and provide is so inherent in a guy's nature that they view women filling men's roles as a sign that they are not carrying out their responsibilities to care for women.  I know this to be true for sure.

Secret 11: Guys notice homemaking skills
- These skills include cooking and baking (I don't think I have a problem there), housekeeping (definitely NOT my strong point), kind to children (hello ... do you know what I do for a living and how I fill all my spare time), how I handle money (working on it, improving for sure, but when I look at the questions, it causes me to reflect a lot more ...) Do I have any credit cards? Am I in debt? What is my source of income? What is my attitude when I approach my parents for money? Am I covetous? Do I have to have the best of everything? Do I take care of what I already have? Am I grateful person? Am I content?  Am I generous? How does my outlook on money affect my outlook on guys? I think I surprised myself with the answers to some of these questions.  I think that there are way where I could be more generous.

Secret 12: Guys have a unique relationship with their moms
- Pay attention to a guy's interaction with his siblings
- Note how a guy's parents relate with each other.  They are modelling a marriage and your guy friend is learning from them.
- Note how your guy friend gets along with his father.
A peaceful girlfriend/fiancee/daughter-in-law will:
1) be friendly toward he guy's mom
2) will not try to isolate her husband from his parents, siblings and family.
3) will not make her husband choose between his mom and her.
4) will refuse to be in competition with her mother-in-law
5) will be a support to her husband, concerning his family

Slavery

It's not a word that our society is comfortable with.  And yet, there are more slaves today than ever due to the incredible influx of the flesh trade, also known as the human trafficking trade.  My friends Niki, Chris and I went to an awareness night at a local church in St. Catharines to watch a video called Call + Response.  Here are some facts and thoughts that were shared:

* In one year, one person can make as much as 240, 000 with only three slaves.

* There are more than 27, 000, 000 men and women who are slaves in the human trafficking trade - more than ever before and most of them are children.  It is the fastest growing crime in the world worth hundreds of billions of dollars ($32 billion last year alone).

* One girl had never been to school and related that she had been a slave for more than 6 years, averaging about 1000 sexual encounters per year.  She asked us to do the math for her for how often that would mean she's had intercourse.

* The fact that corruption has spread to high ranking officials and police officers who are often given free services for turning a blind eye makes trafficked girls realize that they can't trust even those who had sworn an oath by whom to be protected.

* The visual images of where these brothels are and what their living situation looks like were devastating.

* There were girls about 6-8 from Cambodia who were using terms like "boom boom" for intercourse and "yum yum" for oral sex.  They were referring to that, "Yes.  Is good.  Can do boom boom" and were seemingly excited to be able to claim that as they propositioned the man holding the camera.

* There are recruits who lie to women about job opportunities (maids, education, travel, etc.) and then those that accept those positions are actually trafficked.

* Slaves are sold for $4-$1000.  Most are in the $200-400 range.  In the past, you could buy a slave on US soil for the equivalent of $40, 000.  You can buy the same slave today for $300.  Oral sex can cost as low as 10 cents.

* Virgins are sewed back up because they garner more money.

* There was one man who was in a stand at a local market in Cambodia. He said that the only joy he got from his life as a slave was that other people were finding joy in the beautiful things he made for a local market.

* Most women who enter the trade unwillingly can not go back home either because the shame is so great on their family, or the traffickers threaten them that their families will be endangered.

* This trade extends to child soldiers and any person who is forced to work with no pay and is not free to leave.  This occurs in the rice fields, in the chocolate industry, in the cotton industry, in the coffee industry.

* The theme of abolition is evident in so many genres of music - voices who will not let this social justice movement be silenced.

* "Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public."

* "It is easy to be caught in either apathy or the paralysis of despair.  To be so overwhelmed by the pain of the world that you shut it out."

WHAT TO DO??

* It is important to pray for those who are being trafficked but also for the traffickers.

* Bring awareness - don't let this topic become taboo.

* Write your MP and ask them to support Joy Smith, a strong advocate.

* Sign petitions - there's a bill to legalize prostitution in Canada (C310) - let your voice be heard!

* Host an awareness night.

* Get a group together to pay for the freeing of a slave through IJM (International Justice Mission).  Cost: $1000 per slave.

* Invite people to dessert parties! :)

This just in ...

A new adjective has been directed my way three times this weekend which I never once anticipated would ever be the case.  It's an adjective that makes me feel pretty darn stinking good about myself considering the 10 month journey I've had since making the decision to lose weight.  60 pounds lighter and the trifold complimentary adjective is : SKINNY!  I'm smiling.  I know this adjective would not be applied my way if complete strangers were to look at my physical form, but to you I say - give me time! :)  I'm on my way!  Skinny ...  yep ... still smiling!

East Coast Memories - Day 2

The Mitchauds provided a wonderful breakfast the next morning - a wider assortment of breads and croissants and their accompanying condiments.  Marsha even got an espresso!  We left at 7 am so that we could make it to Hartland, New Brunswick for a late lunch at the longest covered bridge in the world.

From here we drove to St. John and had dinner while we waited for the ferry departure time. 

 We also visited the reversing falls.  These falls change direction depending on whether the tide is going out or coming in.  Pretty cool!  

After waiting for the terminal attendant to print off our tickets (30 minutes!!), we boarded the ferry.

Poor Em!  She felt so sick!  The trip took 3 hours.  We took turns going on the internet, napping and watching an inhouse movie - Rando.  We got off the fairy and arrived in Kejimkujik National Park at 12:30.  An hour later, our camp was set up and we were fast asleep.  Sweet dreams until the next trip down memory lane!

East Coast Trip Memories - Day 1

So, this past summer I went out East with two lovely ladies - Emily, a friend from Campfire! and Kentucky 2011 and Marsha, a new friend yet to be befriended.

On the Sunday before the trip, I had dinner at my parent's place and then drove to Guelph.  We unpacked my car and repacked hers with all of the camping gear.  When Marsha arrived a few hours later we did the same thing.  That evening we went to bed on time and then left at 4:30 the next morning.

We arrived in Brockville midmorning and our first impressions were that it was very picturesque and historic.  We visited the first underground tunnel for the railroad.

Um ... Em - read the sign! :) Does "Circle of Peace" mean nothing to you?  Sheesh ... some people! :)

After some time of walking around the city, we decided to treat ourselves at a local nail salon.  Em and Marsha got pedicures and I got a manicure - first (professional) one in my life!

Now feeling very beautified, we headed to go for a cruise around the 1000 islands.  Apparently the city was started by wealthy cottage folk and was then partitioned by millionaires.  In fact, the area has the highest percentage of millionaires in North America.

 We almost didn't make it on this cruise as they had  a 15 person minimum, but at the last minute enough people showed.  Eleven dollars well spent!

 This island was inhabited by hundreds of seagulls.  They sent raccoons to eat their eggs, but all the raccoons died.

 Fulfert Place

 A common sight on our trip.

 Aren't these homes incredible? 

 Someone really needed this! :)

 A potential camping trip for the future?

This makes me smile.  Could you possibly fit a bigger house on a smaller island???

After our cruise, we had a picnic lunch on the waterfront and then drove (Montreal gave us a 2 hour traffic delay) to where we would be staying for our first night: Quebec City.  We went out for pretentiously-priced supper, not altogether unexpected considering our location in the Basse-Ville midway up the Breakneck Stairs.  We ended up staying at Patrice and Suzanne Mitchaud's who were so hospitable.  I'll start the next day for another blog post.